Chapter 36
“I want some water…” Jiang Zhong said in a soft voice.
“Okay,” Xi Qin kissed Jiang Zhong’s face one last time, stood up, put on his clothes, and covered Jiang Zhong with the blanket. “Wait a moment.”
Once Xi Qin left, Jiang Zhong moved slightly, enduring the discomfort as he lifted the blanket to put on his sleepwear.
Although sleeping naked was comfortable, it didn’t provide much of a sense of security.
After getting dressed, Jiang Zhong crawled back into bed, wrapping himself up completely except for his neck.
In just two or three minutes, Xi Qin came back with a full glass of water.
Xi Qin looked at Jiang Zhong, who was wrapped up like a cylinder and sprawled across the bed, and smiled. “I should’ve brought a straw too, but I forgot.”
“No need,” Jiang Zhong averted his gaze, feeling a bit shy about making eye contact with Xi Qin. He extended his hand from the edge of the blanket. “Just give it to me.”
Xi Qin didn’t give it to him. Instead, he placed the cup on the bedside table. “How are you supposed to drink it lying down? You’ll spill it on the pillow.”
So, Jiang Zhong propped himself up, but the friction against the bed made him uncomfortable. He let out a soft “hiss” sound.
Xi Qin quickly reached out and pressed down on his shoulder. “Don’t move. I’ll feed you.”
“Mm?” Jiang Zhong’s question had barely left his mouth when Xi Qin took a sip of water, then turned and kissed Jiang Zhong on the lips.
Jiang Zhong’s eyes widened as water dripped from the corner of his mouth. He had no choice but to open his mouth and accept this unusual way of drinking.
It took seven or eight minutes to finish the entire glass of water. Most of it ended up in Jiang Zhong’s stomach, while a small portion that he couldn’t swallow quickly was consumed by Xi Qin.
“Pervert,” Jiang Zhong blushed as he pushed Xi Qin away, who was lingering with his lips still on Jiang Zhong’s. He curled his legs and turned to lie on his side.
Xi Qin smiled and climbed into bed, wrapping his arms around Jiang Zhong from behind. “Baby, do you still feel bad?”
“…It’s okay.” Actually, if nothing was touching it, it didn’t feel much anymore. But Jiang Zhong couldn’t help but think about what had happened earlier, which made him remember that part of his body, causing an uncomfortable sensation to resurface.
Xi Qin assumed it was because Jiang Zhong had become “immobile,” and kept checking on him, offering water, and feeding him medicine… Ugh. Jiang Zhong rolled his eyes. Medicine? He didn’t need birth control or pregnancy pills.
However, Jiang Zhong could clearly feel that Xi Qin had become more attentive toward him than before. His gaze was direct and profound, and whenever his hands were free, he would want to hold Jiang Zhong. Whenever his lips were idle, he’d want to kiss him, and he seemed eager to even help Jiang Zhong in the bathroom.
“I need to use the bathroom,” Jiang Zhong pushed Xi Qin out of the bathroom. “Why are you coming in with me?”
“Well…” Xi Qin reluctantly responded, “Be careful.”
Jiang Zhong: “…”
Crazy.
How could he need to be careful in the bathroom? Was he afraid of accidentally flushing himself down the drain?
Jiang Zhong closed the door with a speechless expression on his face. However, the next moment, after locking the door, a faint smile appeared on the corner of his mouth.
After taking care of his physical needs, Jiang Zhong stood in the bathroom, staring at the mirror for a long time. He felt tired and a bit drained after what had happened with Xi Qin. To his surprise, the reflection in the mirror showed him with a rosy complexion and a radiant glow.
He had really become a little rogue just like Xi Qin. Jiang Zhong glared at his reflection, and the more he stared, the redder his face became.
“Jiang Zhong?” Xi Qin knocked a few times on the door, “Why are you still inside? Did something really happen while you were just using the bathroom?”
Jiang Zhong took a deep breath, opened the door, and looked at Xi Qin. “You’re a rogue.”
“I was just knocking on the door,” Xi Qin said innocently, “I didn’t go inside. How could I be a rogue?”
“I don’t care,” Jiang Zhong tilted his chin proudly, “You are a rogue, anyway.”
“Alright, alright,” Xi Qin nodded helplessly, probably knowing that whatever Jiang Zhong said today, he wouldn’t argue. “I’m a rogue, but are you really okay?”
“I’m fine. What’s gonna happen to me?”
“That’s good,” Xi Qin relaxed, “I was worried I made you constipated.”
Jiang Zhong: “…Crazy.”
“After all, it was my first time,” Xi Qin came forward and hugged Jiang Zhong, comforting him, “I was just worried that I might have done something wrong and hurt you.”
Jiang Zhong’s heart warmed, and he smiled as he bit his lip. “I’m a bit hungry. Let’s have some cake.”
The cake they ordered was the smallest size.
Jiang Zhong sat on a cushion made from a folded blanket by Xi Qin, lighting the number candles with a lighter. “Hurry up and make a wish.”
“No need,” Xi Qin, for once, seemed a bit embarrassed. “You said I’m this old…”
“It’s a ritual,” Jiang Zhong interrupted. “Hurry, close your eyes.”
So, Xi Qin closed his eyes in front of the candlelight, but for a moment, he didn’t know what wish to make. All he could think of was the image of Jiang Zhong looking at him through the candlelight.
“Okay.” Xi Qin opened his eyes and stared directly at Jiang Zhong. After a while, under Jiang Zhong’s gaze, he blew out the candles.
Jiang Zhong fumbled to turn on the lights and, smiling, said to Xi Qin, who had been staring at him the whole time, “Happy birthday, boyfriend.”
“Thank you,” Xi Qin said softly, “Boyfriend.”
Since it was just the two of them eating, Xi Qin didn’t bother cutting the cake. They both used their forks to take pieces directly from the cake.
Xi Qin fed the first bite to Jiang Zhong’s mouth. “Baby, you’re so good.”
Jiang Zhong, with cake in his mouth, mumbled in response, “You’re good too. Is that what you wanted me to say?”
“Heh,” Xi Qin chuckled. “I just felt like saying it. You’re so good, it makes me feel a little inferior.”
“Why?” Jiang Zhong didn’t understand.
Xi Qin was silent for a moment before slowly speaking: “My family environment is much worse than yours. I never dared to tell you about it before.”
“What’s there to be afraid of?” Jiang Zhong said nonchalantly. “Those things aren’t something you can control.”
“Because at the beginning, I only wanted you to see the good side of me,” Xi Qin said. “I was afraid that once you knew about the negative things, you would despise me.”
“How could that be?” Jiang Zhong didn’t understand. “What I like is you as a person, not the things your family has given you.”
Xi Qin didn’t speak, and Jiang Zhong continued, “Is it about your mother? This isn’t your fault, and you couldn’t have stopped it. Are you blaming yourself now?”
“No,” Xi Qin shook his head. “It’s not just that.”
“Ah,” Jiang Zhong looked at Xi Qin. “Then, are you willing to tell me everything now? If you don’t want to say it, don’t force yourself. I really won’t mind.”
Xi Qin hesitated, lowering his head. Jiang Zhong didn’t want to pressure him and casually joked, “My mom said that as long as the person I’m dating isn’t a criminal or someone with bad morals, and their character is decent, they wouldn’t forbid us from being together. Plus, you’re already pretty great, so how could I despise you?”
“Okay,” Xi Qin exhaled. “Actually, I shouldn’t have slept with you before hiding these things from you.”
Jiang Zhong vaguely sensed something serious in Xi Qin’s tone from what was left unsaid.
“You asked me before if I dropped out because of my mom’s issue,” Xi Qin looked at Jiang Zhong seriously. “Actually, I didn’t drop out just because of that.”
“What else?” Jiang Zhong asked softly.
Xi Qin gave a self-deprecating smile, lowered his head, and took a small bite of cake. “My mom’s funeral had just passed when I found out that my dad had another woman outside, and they had a son who’s not much younger than me.”
“Is that the brother you mentioned before?” Jiang Zhong asked.
“Yes,” Xi Qin nodded slightly. “I was so angry at the time. Although I could tell my parents didn’t have much love after I became more mature, I didn’t expect my dad would cheat so early.”
Jiang Zhong stayed silent, not sure how to comfort Xi Qin.
“Then I confronted my dad,” Xi Qin recalled. “I asked how he could be so heartless, how he wasn’t even a man, and that his actions hurt not just me and my mom, but also the woman and child he had outside who couldn’t be seen in public because of him.”
Jiang Zhong secretly nodded. Xi Qin’s father really went too far. Even without meeting him, Jiang Zhong didn’t have a good impression of Xi Qin’s father.
“Later, I found out,” Xi Qin sighed, “That my mom had always known about it, but she didn’t care. Or maybe she just didn’t mind what my dad did. For her, marrying my dad seemed more like completing a ‘mission.’ She thought it was time to get married and have children, so she chose a suitable person to marry, had me, and then the ‘mission’ was done, so she just went off to do something else.”
“She had affection for me, but there was no love between her and my dad. Both of them didn’t really care about their marriage.”
Jiang Zhong got up and moved to Xi Qin’s side, holding his head against his stomach.
Xi Qin rubbed his face against Jiang Zhong’s stomach, pulling him into his arms to sit. “I’m fine.”
Jiang Zhong kissed Xi Qin’s face. “What happened next? Is there more?”
“At that time, I was still pretty naive, thinking that my parents didn’t have feelings for each other but stayed together for me,” Xi Qin rested his chin on Jiang Zhong’s shoulder. “And because my mom had just passed away, after I found out about my dad’s affair, he stopped using work as an excuse and blatantly went to spend time with his other woman and son. So I didn’t want to go to school anymore, just stayed at home playing games, living a life that was neither here nor there.”
Jiang Zhong felt a pang of sympathy. At that time, Xi Qin must have only been around sixteen or seventeen, with no love from his father and his mother gone, locking himself away at home.
“It was almost half a year,” Xi Qin continued, “I didn’t go out at all. I ordered takeout for meals, and whenever my dad or Peng Siyuan occasionally came to see me, they would bring me other daily necessities. Looking back now, I probably had some psychological issues at that time.”
“No,” Jiang Zhong quickly replied, “You just couldn’t accept it at first. You just needed time to get through it.”
“You see, I was right,” Xi Qin tilted his head and gently bit Jiang Zhong’s earlobe. “You’re just this good.”
“What happened next?” Jiang Zhong asked. “When did you decide to go back to school?”
“Later, my dad probably got scared that I might do something drastic like my mom and commit suicide,” Xi Qin said. “So he moved me into a newly bought apartment.”
“And with you, your stepmother and little brother also moved in?” Jiang Zhong asked.
“Yes,” Xi Qin replied, “What I didn’t expect was that when I saw them, I was actually pretty calm. On the other hand, my little brother was really angry when he saw me. He must have just started middle school at that time. Every time he saw me, he would speak sarcastically, but he didn’t dare actually do anything. I guess it was because I seemed so gloomy at that time, he was scared.”
“Don’t say that,” Jiang Zhong didn’t like hearing Xi Qin talk like that.
“Alright,” Xi Qin obediently skipped that topic. “Then one day, I forget why, but I think I asked my stepmother why she was willing to be with my dad without any official status, and then my little brother flipped out. That’s when I found out from him that my dad and his mom had been married for a few years.”
At this point, Xi Qin paused. “So, my parents had actually been divorced for a long time, but they never told me.”
“That’s really…” Jiang Zhong didn’t know what to say.
“So I went through my mom’s belongings again,” Xi Qin whispered. “And I found the divorce certificate from her and my dad. It was dated just before her car accident. Maybe they had planned to tell me, but my mom’s accident made it hard to bring it up.”
Indeed, Jiang Zhong thought. Xi Qin’s mom’s car accident must have been really hard for him, especially seeing his mother’s emotional instability after losing both her legs. He must have felt helpless.
If they had told him about the divorce back then, Xi Qin would have been even more helpless, and he might have thought his dad only wanted the divorce because of his mom’s disability. He would have hated his dad even more.
“After I found out about this, my little brother thought he and his mom were in the right. He became even more sarcastic. One time, he mentioned my mom in an inappropriate way, so I beat him up, and he ended up in the hospital.”
“Next time, let’s just ignore him,” Jiang Zhong said angrily. “Don’t pay any attention to him.”
“Alright,” Xi Qin nodded lightly. “After that, I couldn’t stay in that house anymore. I returned to school for the second year of high school, and I lived in the house my mom left me. I only went back occasionally when my dad needed to find me.”
Jiang Zhong remembered that their high school had dormitories, and students from far away could apply to stay at school. “Why didn’t you stay in the dorms? Living alone is… lonely.”
“I didn’t want to stay in the dorms,” Xi Qin said, his head down. “Even though I went back to school, I didn’t like talking to people at that time. I didn’t want to deal with anyone, and no one wanted to talk to me either.”
Jiang Zhong could imagine it. As a transfer student, Xi Qin went to a class where the other students had already formed their small groups after a year of being together. For a completely unfamiliar “transfer student,” especially one who didn’t want to talk or interact, it was likely that the classmates wouldn’t take the initiative to approach him.
In his second year of high school, he seemed to be busy making a name for himself at every event, with many “friends” in school. He was always surrounded by people and rarely did anything alone.
Xi Qin, on the other hand, was the complete opposite—lonely, solitary, and enjoyed his own company.
No wonder Jiang Zhong had no impression of Xi Qin during high school.
If Xi Qin had transferred to his class back then, knowing Jiang Zhong’s personality of loving to make friends, he would have definitely been warm and enthusiastic toward the new student.
“Sigh,” Jiang Zhong sighed. “If only we had met in high school.”
“I knew you,” Xi Qin replied.
“I meant mutual recognition,” Jiang Zhong said regretfully. “If you had been willing to come up to me and say something back then, I would have definitely replied with ten sentences, and we could have become good friends then.”
“I didn’t want to be good friends with you,” Xi Qin said. “I’ve never had simple thoughts about you.”
That was the most regrettable part, Jiang Zhong thought. If Xi Qin had approached him back then with those not-so-simple thoughts, maybe they would have been together two years ago.
He could have made Xi Qin happy sooner. Although Xi Qin didn’t want to talk to anyone at the time, he probably still hoped that someone would come up to him and keep him company.