Chapter 49
Tonight, Shi Yu’s strength was heavy and fierce.
Jiang Shangwan gripped the bedsheet tightly, unable to bear it, closing her eyes and turning her head. His large hand firmly held her waist, as if leaving clear fingerprints there. Sweat and droplets from her hair mixed and splashed on her cheek, sliding to her lips. With her eyes closed, she gently curled her tongue around them, guided by feeling.
Shi Yu took the opportunity to catch her tongue, wildly stirring inside her mouth, kissing her deeply. Their lips pressed tightly together, softly rubbing, sharing each other’s breath and heat.
After Jiang Shangwan opened her mouth, she gasped for air. The intense sensory overload made her dizzy. She grabbed Shi Yu’s hair, whispering, “Slower…”
But after hearing her, Shi Yu’s movements only grew faster. Looking at her flushed cheeks and half-closed eyes, he applied more force.
He wanted her to remember every sensation he gave her.
He wanted to merge with her bones and blood, never parting from her.
Jiang Shangwan felt her body trembling rapidly, her voice soft: “I love you so much.”
“What?” Shi Yu bit her earlobe. “Wanwan, what did you say? Say it again.”
“I love you so much.” Jiang Shangwan hugged his flexible body, her fingers slowly tracing the smooth, full lines of his forearm. “I love your body so much.”
Shi Yu lowered his head and kissed her lips, swallowing her fragmented words and breaths, giving all of himself to her.
…
After their exercise, Shi Yu quickly fell into a deep sleep, resting against the pillow. Jiang Shangwan walked to the balcony, pulled open the rocking chair, and sat down with her legs casually crossed. She lit a cigarette, took a long drag, and the scarlet ember flickered silently in the quiet, dark night, exhaling a ring of grayish-white smoke that rose into the air.
Her eyelids fluttered lightly as she absentmindedly tapped the ash from her cigarette. She still felt the softness from the intimacy, and an out-of-place thought crossed her mind—the words Fang Liangchen had said earlier today.
— He’s a madman.
— He’s more ruthless and ambitious than you think.
The taste of tobacco swirled in her mouth as she recalled the image of Shi Yu, towering over her, taking action. His surroundings were eerily still, like frozen ice. His face was cold and grim, his muscles taut, and his moves were ruthless, as if he had made up his mind to put Fang Liangchen to death.
When she stepped forward to stop him, she could still feel his clenched fist trembling slightly, blood dripping from his fingertips, splashing onto the cold ground.
Jiang Shangwan unconsciously furrowed her brows.
Indifference, ferocity, madness.
This side of him was something she rarely saw. Usually, Shi Yu was gentle and obedient toward her, to the point where his unfamiliar side filled her with a fear that was strangely similar to the one she felt with Fang Liangchen.
Which side of him is the real him?
It wasn’t the first time she had seen him take action. On the day they confirmed their relationship, he had also aggressively pursued her, but it was completely different from the feelings tonight had brought her.
The phone placed on the small tea table vibrated. It was a rarely received, but important, number. She paused slightly before answering the call. “Second Uncle?”
“Xiao Wan, you’re still awake, right? I didn’t wake you, did I?” On the other end of the phone was Jiang Mu’s slightly tired voice. “Actually, I’ve been wanting to call you earlier, but I kept putting it off.”
“What’s wrong?”
“I heard Xiao Fang mention a long time ago that you were in a relationship with someone younger than you, and from a family that’s not very well off. I thought, well, you’re young, and you’re just dating for fun, so we, as elders, shouldn’t say too much. But Xiao Wan, I’ve watched you grow up. After your brother and sister-in-law passed, I’ve been the closest elder to you. I had to call you today.”
“I was having dinner with Old Fang today, and I just found out that his son ended up in the emergency room during the New Year. The diagnosis showed mild retinal detachment and a slight fracture in the left nasal bone. I heard it was your little boyfriend who did it.”
Jiang Shangwan was silent for a moment. “Yes, but it’s because he provoked me first. Shi Yu only acted after that.”
Jiang Mu sighed. “But didn’t he go a bit too hard? If he acts so violently, I can’t help but worry about his temperament. Today, someone upset him, and he was able to hit them. In the future, if you make him unhappy, will he strike you? I’m really afraid you’ll get hurt, and if something happens to you, how am I supposed to explain it to your parents in the afterlife?”
Mention of her parents made Jiang Shangwan’s heart feel like it had been squeezed tightly, causing a sharp pain. She felt a bitter taste in her throat, wanting to speak but not knowing what to say.
Could she guarantee that Shi Yu would never show this cold, ruthless side to her again? She didn’t know.
“Uncle isn’t against you having a free relationship, but Xiao Wan…” Jiang Mu paused and continued, “You’re about to turn 34. You’re not young anymore. Have you thought about marriage and children? The Jiang family has such a large business that needs heirs. I’m getting old and won’t be able to help you for much longer. Ying Ting has no interest in joining the Jiang family. This young man, or even a child, do you have plans to marry him and have children?”
Silence spread in the night air. Jiang Shangwan silently took another drag from her cigarette. The ashtray was almost full, and her voice was bitter as she replied, “No.”
From the very beginning, she had even resisted the idea of starting a relationship. There were so many who could please her, yet she had fallen for a troublesome student. Later, she finally broke through her rationality and convinced herself to take the next step, fully immersing herself in the joy of love.
But she had never considered the future, or anything long-term.
With her status, not marrying or having children was almost unrealistic. Such vast wealth needed to be passed on. She didn’t reject marriage or children, and deep down, she longed for a little family of her own. Jiang Mu had always been considerate of her thoughts, never arranging a marriage or matchmaking for her, and allowing her the freedom to choose.
Had she ever thought about marrying Shi Yu and having children, creating a family?
Never.
When the harsh reality was exposed, Jiang Shangwan finally woke up to the indifference at the core of her own nature. She realized she had been irresponsible, no different from the way she had weighed the pros and cons with Fang Liangchen and made her choice.
From the very beginning, her approach had been playful and for the moment, simply discovering a toy that pleased her, but never thinking about the specifics of a longer future.
“As long as you understand, that’s good enough. I’ve always known you’re independent and have your own opinions, so I’ve never interfered too much.” Jiang Mu said, “Don’t worry, we’ll let this matter go. The Fang family won’t pursue any further responsibility or fault from that kid. Leave it to me. As long as you’re not confused, I’ll let you rest. Go to sleep now. Happy New Year.”
“Happy New Year.”
The call ended. Jiang Shangwan stared blankly at her fingertips, not noticing when the tip of her finger had been burned by the ember, causing a sharp pain. The cigarette in her hand had already burned down to a small stub.
She casually extinguished the cigarette and threw it away. This New Year’s Eve was destined to offer her no peace or tranquility. Her thoughts were as chaotic as wild grass, drifting and rising within her heart.
Shi Yu appeared behind her she didn’t notice when, his long arm wrapping around her soft waist. His hair had dried in the wind, and when it brushed against her cheek, it was still a bit rough. He inhaled the faint scent of tobacco on her: “Why aren’t you asleep yet, Wanwan? Smoking here?”
He noticed the ashtray had already piled up with a thick layer of ash.
“I’m not really tired,” Jiang Shangwan said, pressing his hand around her waist. His long fingers were delicate and beautiful. Just a short while ago, those same hands had been gripping her waist, leaving clear imprints on her fair skin.
“How come you’re awake?”
“It felt empty in my arms. I couldn’t sleep properly.” Shi Yu bent down, his body close to her ear: “I heard you were on the phone just now?”
“Yeah.” Jiang Shangwan let him stand up, then suddenly leaned in and wrapped her arms around his leg, resting her head on his knee. She softly said, “Let’s break up.”
The words felt like a sharp blade, cutting into Shi Yu and making his heart ache with pain. It almost felt like his heart was going to leap out of his chest. “…What did you say?”
“I said, let’s break up.” Jiang Shangwan moved away from his side, distancing herself from him. She looked up at him, her eyes clear and calm. “Let’s separate. You can move out tomorrow. I’ll have my assistant transfer the shares of Tianwang to you.”
“Why?” Shi Yu’s eyes reddened in an instant. He stood there, his tall and strong frame for the first time appearing fragile, like it would shatter with the slightest touch. “Why suddenly don’t you want me?”
Jiang Shangwan didn’t want to look at him. She took out another slim cigarette from the pack: “There’s no reason. Just move out tomorrow after you wake up.”
Shi Yu grabbed her hand, which was trying to light the cigarette, his knuckles turning white as he bitterly asked, “Is it because of that man? Because I hit him?”
Is she protecting him?
Jiang Shangwan took a deep breath. She felt that explaining would only make her more exhausted. “Yes, so let’s break up. Stop clinging to this. Let’s part on good terms.”
“I don’t agree. I told you, even if you don’t want me, I won’t leave.”
“Are you going to stay here?” Jiang Shangwan knew exactly how to say it to hurt him. “I don’t feel anything for you anymore.”
“Don’t feel anything?” Shi Yu’s fingers brushed over her wrist, sliding down to her waist. “Just last night you held me tightly, and now you’re saying you don’t feel anything?”
“Yes, women are like that—they get tired of the old and want the new.” Jiang Shangwan pushed his hand away, her throat tightening slightly. She lowered her eyes, ignoring the pain between his brows, as it would make her feel suffocated as well.
She was hurting from his pain too.
Shi Yu’s fingertips dug into her skin, and a massive wave of sorrow enveloped him. His mind felt in turmoil, and there was a sharp buzzing in his ears, a result of the intense emotional shift that caused sudden tinnitus. The world seemed to close in on him. This moment, more than when he saw Fang Liangchen holding her, was unbearable. It felt as though he couldn’t breathe.
He lowered his gaze, watching her indifferent tone and the casual way she smoked. Her decision to break up with him seemed as nonchalant as throwing away trash, without any struggle or hesitation.
She really didn’t want him anymore.
He couldn’t hear the sounds of the world. All he could see was her, looking away, refusing to look at him. He trembled as he tried to reach for her hand again, only to have her subtly avoid him.
Shi Yu half-knelt on the ground, bending his knee and lowering his head. He moved slowly toward her, each step feeling like a difficult, treacherous journey.
His breath was heavy, his voice hoarse, and the buzzing in his ears grew louder and more grating. Struggling, he finally spoke: “Please.”
“Please, don’t leave me.”