Chapter 50
“Get up.” Jiang Shangwan frowned and grabbed his lower arm. “Don’t kneel, get up.”
Why was he looking at her with such a pleading gaze?
Wasn’t she the bad one?
She had casually started this, and now she was casually ending it. She was a heartless jerk. But why wasn’t he angry with her? Shouldn’t he feel humiliated and storm off? Why was he still looking at her with such a pleading expression?
Shi Yu was very strong. No matter how much Jiang Shangwan tried to pull him up, he didn’t budge at all.
His eyelids were bloodshot, his lashes trembling slightly from the tears, showing the immense inner turmoil and pain he was feeling. “I won’t get up. Wanwan, don’t abandon me.”
“Please.” Shi Yu repeated each word slowly. “I’ll do anything you want. Please, just keep me by your side.”
Jiang Shangwan’s heart ached, and she found it hard to breathe from the tension of the stalemate. She forced herself to leave the balcony, leaving him where he was. “Do whatever you want. If you want to kneel, then kneel.”
Jiang Shangwan left the master bedroom and went to another room that didn’t have any traces of Shi Yu. She ignored the hand that reached out to stop her, leaving him behind.
Shi Yu’s pupils were unfocused as he watched her walk away. Tears fell from his eyes like pearls breaking off a string, one by one wetting the ground.
…
Jiang Shangwan locked the door behind her, not caring about what was happening outside. She climbed into bed and closed her eyes, trying to relax and fall asleep, but her mind was too full and chaotic, making it impossible to calm down.
A sleepless night.
She held on stubbornly until 7 AM, exhausted. When she opened the door and stepped out, she saw that Shi Yu was still kneeling in the same spot.
He actually knelt like this for the entire night.
His back remained straight, but his head hung low, with his hair drooping along with his movements. His beautiful face was filled with exhaustion, and his lips were almost ashen, devoid of any color.
He just stared blankly at the ground, as though the entire world had abandoned him.
Jiang Shangwan held onto the doorknob, unconsciously tightening her grip. Seeing this scene, her heart tightened with pain, and the fatigue that had just overwhelmed her suddenly vanished, replaced by sharp clarity.
Her brows furrowed as she stepped forward and called out to him. “Shi Yu.”
He didn’t respond, still in that dazed state, motionless.
“Shi Yu?” Jiang Shangwan raised her voice, and an overwhelming sense of panic surged in her chest.
She walked over and put her hand on his shoulder, calling out loudly, “Shi Yu? Shi Yu? Wake up! What’s wrong with you?”
Shi Yu slowly raised his head and met her gaze. He saw that her expression was no longer cold and indifferent like it had been the night before. Instead, it showed a hint of urgency and concern. But all he could see was her lips moving continuously, yet he couldn’t hear a single word clearly.
What was she saying?
Jiang Shangwan stared at his vacant expression, and a deeper fear rose from the pit of her stomach. She tried desperately to wake him up, but it was as though he had become a mechanical puppet, disassembled and unable to move.
A tear mixed with fear, shock, and sorrow slid from the corner of her eye. Her hand, gripping his shoulder, trembled silently.
It seemed like he couldn’t hear her.
…
The private doctor arrived as quickly as possible, and after opening his medical kit, he said with a serious expression, “It’s suspected that the sudden hearing loss is caused by an overwhelming emotional shock.”
Regret surged wildly in her chest, and Jiang Shangwan tightly gripped Shi Yu’s hand, trembling as she spoke, “How could this happen? Why can’t he hear all of a sudden? Can he recover?”
“Generally speaking, this is caused by a person receiving a severe emotional shock in a short period of time, leading to intense sadness, pain, and other emotions, which then affect the nervous system and put pressure on the auditory nerves, causing damage. How long has he been like this?”
“It should have been the whole night, since last night.” Jiang Shangwan’s voice was bitter. “I didn’t expect his reaction to be so extreme. He could barely talk to me last night, but when I called him this morning, he had no response. It’s like he can’t hear anything at all. And… he can’t speak either.”
“He must be treated and regain his hearing.”
“I understand.” The doctor said, “His condition is not congenital; it was caused by emotional stimulation. I believe there is still a good chance for recovery. We need to stabilize his emotions in the short term, avoid any further stress, and I’ll prescribe some medication. We’ll also send a hearing aid for him to use in the meantime.”
Jiang Shangwan was in indescribable pain—regret, guilt, and self-loathing. She had never imagined that her sudden decision would cause such immense harm to him.
Shi Yu’s condition had improved significantly since this morning; he was no longer in that dazed state. Although he couldn’t clearly hear what they were saying, he seemed to understand roughly. He grasped her hand in return and gently shook his head.
It was as if he was saying—don’t blame yourself.
Tears uncontrollably welled up, and Jiang Shangwan nearly collapsed. The boy in front of her had worked so hard to get to where he was today. He was talented, good-looking, and other than his uncontrollable background, he had no shortcomings. Yet now, his world was silent; he had lost the ability to hear.
It was all her fault.
“It’s all my fault. It’s all my fault. I didn’t communicate at all and suddenly brought up breaking up with you.” Jiang Shangwan’s tears fell onto her dress, leaving a large wet patch.
Shi Yu reached out and wiped away the tears from the corner of her eye, then carefully leaned in and kissed the trace of tears from her cheek.
As he pulled back, he lowered his head and glanced at her expression, as if afraid she would be upset by his close gesture.
Everything in front of her was blurry, her tears overwhelming and unstoppable. Jiang Shangwan felt like she was about to cry out all her sorrow, until her head began to throb painfully.
Shi Yu held her hand, and in the palm of her hand, he slowly began to write—
“Don’t… cry.
I’m… fine.”
Jiang Shangwan cried even harder, feeling the warm touch of his fingertips gliding over her palm. An indescribable bitterness spread in her throat. Even before he lost his hearing, on the final night, in the last moment, he was begging her not to leave.
But what was she doing?
She had allowed him to kneel there for an entire night. What was it like for him when he lost his hearing? Was he more frightened and scared? He feared her leaving, but also feared the fading sounds around him, his world becoming quieter.
Jiang Shangwan’s heart shattered completely. All her emotions turned into deep regret. She didn’t know what rationality was, what the future held, or what the reality she should be considering was. She just wanted him to get better quickly.
She hugged Shi Yu tightly. “I will make you better.”
…
Jiang Shangwan canceled all her work and stayed by Shi Yu’s side for his treatment, taking care of his medication. When he first lost his hearing, he also lost the ability to speak. She handed over all her responsibilities to her subordinates and continued to work online.
Jiang Shangwan feared that if he were further stimulated, his nerves could be damaged even more. She stayed with him every step of the way. After he began wearing a hearing aid, he seemed to be able to understand her words and her voice, but his lips moved without sound, making speaking difficult.
The doctor said that the damaged nervous system needed rehabilitation, that it would be a process and progress step by step.
This treatment lasted for over half a year, so long that it reached Shi Yu’s senior year graduation season. Though his thesis was already finished, he still had to go through the defense process. Jiang Shangwan openly explained his special situation to the teachers, and they all showed concern and sympathy, helping him follow a special procedure.
His bright and promising student days ended just like that, abruptly. The once proud and outstanding student ended his undergraduate life with a broken body.
He didn’t even attend the graduation ceremony. His role as the outstanding graduate speaker was canceled, and after receiving his diploma, Shi Yu could slowly begin making simple sounds, like “Mm, okay.”
His voice was still as clear and pleasant as it had been before, but now it was difficult for him to speak, and even the words he struggled to utter carried a distinct roughness.
Jiang Shangwan nearly teared up when she heard him make a sound again. No matter what he said, it was finally a sign of improvement.
In the middle of all this, Jiang Yiting called her, puzzled, and asked: “Sis, is something going on? Did someone do something to Shi Yu? Why wasn’t he the representative for the outstanding graduate, and why didn’t he attend the graduation ceremony? The replacement they found is so different from his resume.”
Jiang Shangwan didn’t want to express all his embarrassments, so she simply and bitterly replied, “He’s sick.”
She had thought that his making sounds was a sign of improvement, but to her surprise, for a long time after that, his condition showed no progress. Jiang Shangwan accompanied him for treatment every day, and at night, she would occasionally sneak to the bathroom and cry, because with such a simple action from her, she had caused him such immense, long-lasting harm.
She couldn’t forgive herself.
Before she knew it, summer had passed, and winter had arrived. Now it was the warm spring season. Spring should have been a time of renewal and rejuvenation, but the prolonged hearing loss and difficulty speaking seemed to have made Shi Yu’s gentle nature even quieter. He often leaned beside Jiang Shangwan, but he no longer had much of a presence.
Sometimes he would hold the computer and type some code, but more often, he would simply bury his head on her shoulder and sleep. His condition had become increasingly stable, but Jiang Shangwan’s mental state was worsening. Every day, seeing no signs of his recovery made her heart ache more and more. She even secretly asked her personal doctor for antidepressants.
She hadn’t heard from Shen Luo for a long time, and when she did send messages, Jiang Shangwan rarely replied. Finally, Shen Luo, unable to bear it any longer, sent a message: 【What’s going on with you? It’s been a year, and you haven’t said a word. You won’t even reply to me.】
Jiang Shangwan felt her heart slowly withering away.
She replied: 【I’m depressed.】
Shen Luo: 【???????】
Jiang Shangwan had been feeling increasingly exhausted over the past year, but in front of Shi Yu, she tried her best to show a positive side, not wanting him to notice. She was afraid that if his emotions worsened again, his condition would become more serious.
When Shen Luo saw that she didn’t respond anymore, she continued to send messages: 【You have to tell me what happened. I knew something was wrong when you stopped replying to me for so long.】
【If something’s wrong, don’t keep it to yourself. It’ll feel better once you talk about it, right?】